Cablemania 2019: Setting up your gear everytime you want to play a few tunes sucks big time – and Funkh is not having it any more! He is demanding a permanent space where he can tinker with and ‚optimize‘ on his Funkhenstein-stack. GAS, final stage…
Udo, on the other hand, has started to wither under these dark, murky and also windowless conditions – so Kupsu installed some life-saving and light-shedding led-bars. That actually helped Udo’s condition! And after getting used to the constant strobe-light-induced headaches, you can sometimes even see your instrument clearly for a split-second or two…
The equipment is reacting allergic and dying the slow death of corrosion! This is an outrage! How could this happen?! The high air humidity in the Giesing headquarters is killing the amps off one by one! This boat won’t float – and we need a new HQ for our preciuos gear. Goodbye Giesing!
The war is on! NOiD is on stage – and there’s just not enough space for everyone… See, Funkh hogged all the space when he was setting up his gear. Look at his ridiculously large ‚Funkhenstein‘-stack wasting almost half of the stage! It’s a disgrace! But now Udo and Kupsu have a new strategy: they team up and corner him while Udo whips up a solo. That puts Funkh back in his place!
It’s just too darn bright! All the light-stripes and LED-displays and electronics. Too. Bright. While Funkh and Udo are constantly blinded by this powerful display of illumination, Kupsu always keeps his cool: A song you can’t play with shades is a song not worth playing. Word.
Okay. The bet is on. Can Udo play a guitar solo while hopping on one leg and reciting Shakespeare? Nope. He can’t. A total disaster. Good that Kupsu placed those empty beer bottles in Udos corner for him to trip over. Didn’t see that one coming, did he?
The good thing about being a trio is that usually 2/3 of the band are having a really great time. The thing to be wary about, is being that 1/3 of the band only having an ‚okay‘ time. Just look here: Who do you think the joke was on? Yea, right.
In dark times you need bright meassures! No way we’re going back to the boring old lights on the ceiling. We want disco! And thanks to the modern advantages of online shopping we now have a great assortment of glowing, flashing light equipment. Okay, sometimes it smells a bit like burnt plastic and causes buzzing and fizzing on the amps. But it just looks so cool!
So we figured out that we’re like totally in style nowadays: All those retro sneakers out there: Yea. We still know when the originals hit the stores ages ago. No better time for comparing footwear than our pow wows between sets. Coz sometimes you have to figure shit out: Was everything loud enough? Who could be louder? Was anyone to quiet? All important questions! Then move on to: What’s the name of that song Funkh and what the hell are you singing about? Was Udo’s solo long enough? Does Kupsu have enough beer? Where is the next gas station?
Remember guys: When rehearsing in the summertime it is essential to take breaks and have a drink. Good to know you’re all safe and cozy because Udo knows all about checking walls! This one, for instance, is too thin! It lets in huuuuuuge amounts of really bad sound radiation from the guys next door! A total desaster. Sad! Luckily Udo always knows a soloution: Turn up the amps dudes!
Okay, I admit that this might be madness. But still: I love my magic floorboard arrangement… And as an added benefit for the band this confines the vocalist/rhythm guitar guy to a small space – leaving much more place everybody else!